Today, for brief moments in my day, I thought I was going to die. Now don’t get panicked, I was never in any real danger, but boy did I go for the ride of my life with Brian. It was suppose to be a casual relaxing tender cruise after work. It had been a long brutal day of vacuuming, organizing, and straight up cleaning, so when your man asks you to go for a sunset cruise, how can you say no? As we cruised out of downtown Nassau past the one lonely cruise ship, I smiled as the sun was setting. It was a beautiful night and I had dressed appropriately for the evening, versus my normal complaining because I am too cold. Everything was great. Until in the horizon we see the white caps of the monstrous waves. I immediately assume oh no, we definitely cant go over there, way too dangerous. Then I see the boyish grin on Brian’s face as he pushes the boat faster to the sunset. Ok, thats cool, we are gonna cruise the waves. Im a relatively tough kindred spirit of a girl, I will partake in your sense of adventure. And as we got closer to the break of the harbor to the ominous aqua marine ocean, the swells became pictures in my mind because they were at least 10 feet tall. And my heart just dropped. We are going to die. And once again I look to the insane person next to me driving this boat, he had an excitement to him that could only be called pure adrenaline. I at this moment don’t know what to do with this surge of butterflies and nervous giggles. I just keep reminding myself that Brian loves life way too much to ever put us in danger and Amy and our other passenger for the night, who’s name slips my mind at the moment, both seem perfectly relaxed. Maybe I am overreacting. Yes these waves look like the posters from the Perfect Storm and we are in a 15ft center console, but Brian looks so at ease that I just close my eyes and enjoy the ride. Wave after wave, monstrous suckers, and our boat just road them like a roller-coaster. Brian head on took every wave so smoothly, that even when our boat was in the air and I thought we were gonna sore through the poster card sunset sky, I just let myself let go. Let go of the worrying of what could happen. If it was my turn it was my turn, and every wave I became more giddy and light hearted. Like the weight of the world was bouncing off my shoulders with each thump of the boat after a rocky wave. At moments I was wooing and laughing hysterically without a second thought. Even closing my eyes and letting myself just feel what my insides were doing. Nonstop butterflies. After a tough hard day at work with Brian and I, to feel all this and then look upon his adorable face, I feel a sense of contentment and joy, knowing that my decision to put it all on the line was so far seeming to be worth all the hard work and tears. After opening another round of beers, we turned our tendah ( I say tendah cuz I’m from Boston) back and see that one lonely cruise ship departing from the Bahamas, all of its twinkling lights and majestic awe right infront of our eyes. It was like a friggen post card. Of course none of us have our phones because I’m way too paranoid to bring it anywhere, Brian’s is dead, and Amy has lost hers quite some time ago. But the sight that I saw tonight took my breath away. Warm air in my face, some erb in my lungs, and the moment, that i was mentally storing in my fuck yes file. And if that wasn’t so spectacular, all I had to do was look to my left to see Atlantis all lit up like a castle from my fantasies. It was all i could do to keep myself from saying over and over again “its like Kingslanding! Guys Atlantis is like Kingslanding!” My mind instantly went into nerdom and I imagined us as Westerosi cruising in the harbor of Blackwater Bay. For me, this image is like a fantasy come true. I am living across from the Red Keep. I am a die hard Game of Thrones fan for those who don’t know, just ask for pictures of my Game of Thrones themed 30th birthday party, with an iron throne and everything. So to let myself let go, and retreat into my mind with this whole experience, it was a treat. Things have been odd, happy, and a bit stressful lately, yet with this beauty around me my life feels like how can my this not be exciting. Cruising through Atlantis ship bay, we see where we were docked about a week ago for the Super Bowl, slip 55, right infront of the pizza shop and millions of tourist. We cruise the mega million dollar yachts and my imagination continues to take mental notes on all the scenery around me. All the deckhands standing watch, all the dinners being had on the aft decks, and the lights in the water, which danced with fishes swimming in and out of view. My life now was filled with these adventures, where one part of my mind is usually telling myself ya you might die tonight, but then the other half is saying, but ya look at your view and what your doing. And the beautiful man next to you. It would be worth it. Today, as I was gripping the railing on the boat for dear life, I was reminded of my previous Sunday afternoon. Brian went out and rented us this thing that could only be described as a doon buggie. He was a kid on Christmas Day and I was trying to figure out how my hair would hold up in the wind. Long story short my hair was destroyed. We bombed around the island in this little mini go cart that had fore-wheel drive and Brian took this vehicle to the max. Bombing down the bahamian roads with the coast line a foot away, the scenery took my breath away, a long with Brian going 90 miles away. But once again I found myself reassuring my, your going to die side with, “Brian wants to live, he would never endanger us”. So I just let go and let my whoos out and didn’t once open my mouth to tell him motherfucker slow down or your driving like a jackass. I just let go and we were happy. We cruised for hours, and eventually found our new passion for offroading, finding a random off beaten path down a lonely road. We tore the little beast up bombing through mud and ditches. I didn’t even care once that i got mud on my new Ray Bands. It was one of the funnest things I have ever done. As he went faster and faster, sending our lil car through the air, I became more alive. We rode all afternoon and eventually found ourselves at the most luxuouris yacht community in the area lounging on the beach for the rest of the afternoon with Brians dear friend. Soaking in the sun and Bicardi diets. Life is beautiful. And as Brian bundled me up with towels and sweaters, for the sunset ride home, I couldn’t wait to feel the air in my face as we cruised. For the first time in this whole experience , I felt a revalation, that my decision to come was without a doubt the right decision. No doubt was in my heart and I welcomed the flight of fear as Brian turned up the speed and took the corners of the road with a feverish madness, I felt nothing but joy. Sunset and nothing but coast, with his smile and hand in mine. I just close my eyes and go.